I’ve been meaning to tell you all for a while now, but things have stopped me doing it. I didn’t think it was something that needed to be done at 13 (hell, I wasn’t even sure). I didn’t want to just sprout it out to you at 16 when I’d finally figured it out. I wanted to join the gay bi and trans society when I got to uni, but I still wasn’t comfortable with you finding out.
I’ve tried telling you before, sister. We were drinking at a clubbing event and I told you I find guys attractive. I’d already told one of your friends. You just brushed it off as confused. You should have gotten the hint when another friend, your gay friend, new about it before you did. You claim to support whatever I choose, “but you have to have a girlfriend first”. When did emotional support have to have terms and conditions?
I want to tell you, mum. I know how mum’s are supposed to react to it, how they’re supposed to be the more open ones, but I’ve heard how you talk about them “keeping it to themselves” and I don’t know if I should. I want to tell you so badly, but I can’t for fear you’ll not be able to accept it. Should I keep it to myself?
And then there is you, dad. You’re the biggest fear I have when it comes to coming out. I want you to know who I truly am, but I’m scared of how you’ll react. I know how you think of that lifestyle - you openly dislike gays, and even associate it with some twisted form of abuse. You always remind me of your friend who thought he was gay because he was attacked and enjoyed it. Fortunately I didn’t discover through violation, but I don’t want to tell you if you’ll not accept it.
I remember when you asked about a month ago. I remember my knee jerk reaction to lie.
I want you to know by new years 2014.
I want the whole family to know by the time I’m 21, but I don’t want to throw myself out of the family. I know everyone else is accepting of us, but will they be able to handle the black sheep within the family?
Anonymous: College Sophomore & recently I've noticed this gay freshman that lives in my hall. I'm 98% sure that he is gay, I used his grindr profile pic to see if it's him (it's from the bottom of his nose to half his chest). We are still acquaintances but got to know each other rushing a frat. Last night I partied & whispered it around asking about him & he was in the group I was with (apologized & he's cool) Any advice on how to help him come out? Or have him tell me? I just want to be nice and help him.
Woah there buddy! This sounds like a lot to handle! But from one guy to another, I offer the following advice:
First off, I’m extremely proud to hear that you’re willing to lend a helping hand to this guy. It sounds like you’re genuinely concerned. But there are a couple of issues surrounding this situation. The most important to address is that you should NEVER force, suggest, or even hint to someone you suspect is gay to come out. Unless they are asking for help to do so, that’s definitely something you need to leave alone. As much as I understand your warm intentions to do so, something like that can cause dire consequences if you’re not careful.
For one, they might not be ready to make a choice like that. And second, if you made the choice for them I highly doubt you’ll be speaking to them as a friend any time soon.
Now, if you simply want to know if he’s gay, just ask! The worst thing he can say is no, ignore you for days, hate you for the rest of his life, and spread horrendous rumors about you. (God forbid that ever happen) Haha (That was supposed to be a joke, but hey… I’m no comedian) Honestly though, if you find it a necessity to ask, make sure it’s in a controlled environment. Ask him to hang out with you, get some lunch together, chat for a while. And when the timing is right, then you can ask him. Never go for public places though, as that might end up in a mess (Trust me, I’ve been there and done that). And if all goes well, you’ll be calling him a friend!
Best of luck to you!
lakepoet87: I'm coming to a point in my life where I can't hide this anymore. It has to come out. I'm bisexual and I have developed some pretty intense feelings for an amazing woman. She doesn't feel the same way but that's beside the point. How do I tell me parents? How did you? Letter, phone call, face-to-face, word of mouth? Facebook? My parents and I have never talked about sexuality at all - "we don't wanna know" - so I'm not sure how to breach this subject.
Coming out isn’t always the easiest process for anyone. But once it’s finally said and done, most can walk away feeling better about themselves than they ever once did. However, please understand that it’s different in every case.
Like I’ve told many before, never come out until you’re absolutely comfortable with doing so. And when you do, make sure you have a backup plan for anything that might occur. Have a strong support group of friends, of whom you can account on for anything. But most importantly, come out in a way you might feel most comfortable.
Personally, when I came out, I started with a few people I could trust and eventually moved step by step from there. I didn’t feel the need to write a letter, post it all on Facebook, or even have someone else do it for me. But I knew that once I accepted myself, and was truly comfortable with who I am and how I want to live, there wouldn’t be a need to “come out”. Instead, I would just go about my own life. Because that’s what we’d expect and hope to happen. And if you ask me, there shouldn’t ever be a point where you have to “come out”. Just live your life for you, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
You only live this life once. Make it worth while.
I want you to know you need to love yourself and love whoever you chose. I know you want to be with someone first and really feel a connection but you need to love yourself for you.
Ever since I was 10 years old I knew I was different, but growing up in a conservative Mennonite family I was taught that being homosexual was one the greatest sin. But I just couldn’t help it and it made me feel very guilty, often wishing I hadn’t been born. When my friends started to look at girls I looked at my friends. I tried my best to not let them ever know that I had a crush on them. When I was a teenager I just buried myself into studies to get the thought out of my had. I never had a girl friend although many girls had a crush on me. I was 21 when I had my first date, I thought to myself I will just have to get married to get cured from the dreadful sinful homosexual feelings. I broke up with the girl, just couldn’t get myself to love her. Then when I was 23 a girl wrote me a letter and asked if I would have a date with her. This was a lovely and very nice lady, her dad was a Mennonite minister, so I thought this would be the cure. I accepted the invitation and went on that date. It was nice I like her and thinking this would be the cure I was looking for, I started going steady with her. After 4 months of dating I thought I have marry her before I change my mind, and so I asked her to marry me which she accepted. After being engaged for 4 months we got married. It was the day before the wedding my thought were wandering all over and I thought about men, I just about got cold feet, but I went through with the wedding, never letting a soul know my feelings. Marriage started of rough, I had a tough time performing sexually, and then I came up with a plan. I would fantasize having sex with men so that I was able to have sex with my wife. I also persuaded her to have oral sex with me that helped. I felt guilty doing it that way but it worked. After being married 10 years I started getting stronger and stronger urges to seek out men, but I didn’t. I enjoyed shopping for men’s underwear for me that was my porn seeing the pics of men in underwear. I also enjoyed going to the beach with my family so I could see those hot men in trunks. I love the bulges. After our kids grew up and left home, my wife’s sexual drive waned, till it was zilch. I didn’t mind, but I needed my fulfillment. We were married about 25 years when I started looking for men. It started with looking at some porn and then chat lines. First on the phone and later the internet came that was great I could now contact men. I still felt guilty, but there was no stopping me now and so we were married about 28 years when I had my first encounter. It was great, but it also scared me to death. I thought I would have aids or something, yet I couldn’t stop now and so I kept on looking. Then I met a man. I fell in love with him. He actually became a family friend, but nobody knew we were both in the closet lovers. It was like heaven. Oh how I wanted to just leave everything and move in with him. I even arranged it so that I had a contract there and had to stay someplace so I told my family I would live with him. And so I did. We made love every day for 2 months till my contract was over, and I had to leave. I wish I could be with him, but I can’t. I am still in the closet living with my wife, she is a wonderful lady and I do love her, but I am a total gay man. God made me that way, it was people who denied me that life, not God.
Dear college suit mates!
I am bisexual and have been for a while! Most people don’t know because i am afraid to tell people! I am afraid that you won’t want to live with me anymore and that would suck because we are friends. I am afraid you will not see me as the same person that I am! You know I am a nice person and i want you to know I don’t find you attractive, so please don’t ask me! I hope we can still stay friends and you don’t want to move out or want me to move out!
Still the same person as i was before I came out!
I’ve always been a bit insecure when it comes to my queer status. For the longest time, I thought I had no right to claim the title as my own since I had no proof, no girlfriend to validate my own feelings. Now that I finally have her, I feel underwhelmed by it all. I was expecting something, anything to feel different, but nothing does. I’m just…me, plus her now. And I love her. I really do. Maybe I’m not in love with her, but there’s real longing and passion there. I know this. But everywhere I look I’m confronted with accusations that the bisexual girls of the world are just these lying attention seekers that can never truly be satisfied without men in their lives. As if women are just a passing fancy, and I will inevitably abandon my sapphic side in favor of a more conventional lifestyle. Whenever my body and mind conspire to lust after a dude for even a second, I immediately question this huge aspect of myself, without even stopping to consider that it is totally alright to be attracted to more than one person at a time. It doesn’t negate my much more substantial feelings toward my girlfriend just because I occasionally remember that penises exist.
Even so, I worry I’m just not good enough for her. Some day she’s going to remember she’s got a gorgeous, compassionate best friend/ex-girlfriend waiting in the wings, and I will be left to grapple alone with my oftentimes crippling identity issues.
This will be condensed version. Since early childhood I knew I was gay, but I tried, and tried, to live up to rural provincial ‘standards’. Gay people have been a huge part of my life, I felt at home with them. But I still ;pretended’. Years later, after denial and substance abuse, I’m finally free, to be who I am. Some like it, some indecisive, and I’ve realized that if anyone has a problem with me being gay, well guess what? That’s their problem, not mine! My biggest regret, which I’m ok with now, is not being who I am, years earlier….. You just gotta be YOU!”
I’m an 18 ear old guy living in a great home with loving parents in Canada… and I want to tell all of my friends and family that I’m gay. I just don’t have the courage to do it. I’m afraid that I still don’t know who I am and if I act too fast I might be wrong about my sexuality and embarrass myself. Maybe this is an excuse that I have because I’m just afraid of change and coming out. I just want to be myself and not have to hide anymore. I want to go to university this september and be open about who I am to all of the new people I meet. I know my life will probably be better than it is now, but I’m scared. My biggest fear is that my friends and/or brother don’t accept me. Now, I look up to my friends and I want them to stay as my friends, but I don’t really care too much for my younger brother. He’s ok at home sometimes but he can be selfish and arrogant. Plus he always makes random stupid gay jokes and accusations, which makes me feel uncomfortable. It would just suck to be gay, with my homophobic brother living in the room next to me for another year. Then again it could give me a reason to move out, which I wanted to do this year :) That’s pretty much my whole story. Thanks for reading, and please, send me a message or something. I really want to talk to people who have some advice or who just need to talk to somebody about their situation… Like me <3
Hi. I’ve been writing to you for quite some time now. In those times, I was able to write without using ‘anon’ thingy but now, since some of my friends discovered my tumblr account, I get to use this again.
You know, something’s been bothering me lately. Not long ago I was into this girl friend of mine, but then, when our class started, I also started that something inside of me is running away from her. Well, I considered it a defense mechanism for what I am feeling is really totally one-sided. And then, after some time, my ex-boyfriend talked to me, he said that he wants me back. I was pretty happy back then, but after that, he seemed to lack effort in showing that he was worth a second chance. Also, other people tell me that he’s not worth it. And along with these events, I thought that I was starting to become straight again. But then again, half of me still wants a girlfriend and then it hit me. What I am is what I am. And now, some of my friends who knew what I am say that I’m getting straight again, that I am getting girly again. Yes, physically, I started to wear girly stuffs than I usually do. But you know what, I am wearing those so that some cute girl would like me. See, I’m pathetic, and confused. Honestly, I do not know what to do now.
Huhu. I’m sorry and thanks for reading.
I just hate myself when it comes to this! I am so weak and I don’t know who to talk to.
Hello, everyone. AJ here.
Westboro Baptist is coming to my town to protest.
They will go to a local high school and our city hall.
I’m not sure how it’s going to go down, or what the best course of action is.
Just thought I’d share this with ya’ll so you could maybe give me
suggestions to pass on to others in my town on what to do and maybe keep
our town in your thoughts and prayers, especially our LGBT+ youth.
Thank you so much!
Hey there lovely people.
I just want to see the interest for anyone who would like to chat on babblr.
Could you like this if you Are interested and maybe comment whether you have any suggestions for improvements of the blog
Anonymous: Hi! I just wanted to submit these two links for everyone struggling with being queer and Christian or with homophobe Christians. 1: westarinstitute(.)org/resources/the-fourth-r/when-a-man-lies-with-a-man-as-with-a-woman 2: gaychristian101(.)com/Leviticus(.)html Also keep in mind that the original language texts of the Bible do not refer explicitly to homosexuality as a sexual orientation. Homosexuality is not a sin, God loves everyone, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! <3
notesfromcloset: Well I guess this wasn't my idea lol.
Ha well this is a submission blog and from what I can see yours is personal :) I think they’re different ideas but the same name and the same goal. I’m out to my friends and I’m coming out to my parents in September so this blog has helped me a lot in doing all of that and just being confident in who I am.
Hope we can help and I’m sure some of our followers can relate to both our blogs :)